"Really? You have to label the batpoles?" -Jen

"Well, you don’t want Robin sliding down Batman’s pole." - Cande

(discussing the 1966 television series)

Have you ever seen somebody DJ a dance party with a laptop? The skill it takes to press play on your playlist while you check MySpace for fake females as nobody dances is totally awesome.

It smells like breath in here.

We used to drag race

Dad’s Cutlass Supreme, backwards,

Down Bumblebee Lane.

Monk said ‘There is no wrong note, it has to do with how you resolve it’. He almost sounded like a kid taking piano lessons. I could relate to that when I first started playing the piano, because he was decomposing the music while he was playing it.

"It doesn’t need to be true, it just needs to be on TV."

"Illinois has been good to Tim’s hair."

I’m not a homosexual, but that Magnus guy is pretty hot.

Our kids have a huge advantage already. We’re not in and out of mental hospitals.