Help me somebody. . .

At the risk of sounding insensitive to age or gravity (and I would remind my critics that I am 44!) I surely cannot be the only one who wonders why on earth people don workout clothes to go to "All-You-Can-Eat-Buffets" - does this mean that people are playing sports dressed in tuxedos now? 
giantrobot's picture

two words

Elastic waistband. The American Legion down here puts on an awesome breakfast the second Sunday of every month. It is an eclectic mix of Sunday best and Nascar sweats. Since it is across the street I have been known to show up in PJ's and house shoes. After eating my weight I stumble back home and fall into a pancake coma (assuming I don't have to work) and awaken sometime after noon.

Except for Indian buffet I'm not much for feeding troughs. Both the Battle Creek and Kalamazoo MENSA chapters meet at their respective Old County Buffets. I can't hang with the OCB, the clientele frightens me.

redstarwraith's picture

OCB

Katya and I did the OCB a few months back. She asked me kind of on a whim as we drove past if I'd ever eaten there. I hadn't and figured it was my duty as an American to do so. Lord. It was awful. Not just awful…bloody awful. I sampled the "Mexican" fare and it tasted exactly like the meatloaf and potatoes I'd eaten moments earlier. In point of fact, EVERYTHING there tasted the same. How is that even possible? Is there some all purpose OCB "FOODSTUFF" that they merely pour and press into different molds? 
dingey's picture

guh

The only time I've ever been to the OCB was via familial obligation—GRAMMA PARTY!  I couldn't believe that it cost like $10.50 per person and that EVERYTHING tasted like licking the inside of a salt shaker. 

One other time I was asked to judge a photography exhibition for some amateur photography club, which was an odd experience all in all which got even odder when I was asked to attend their celebratory dinner, which was to be conducted at the OCB.  I wound up making up a lie about a car accident to avoid going.  Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. 

Speaking of father, my dad claims that the rice pudding is pretty good.  He lives closer to gramma and hence has to make her happy with OCB visits far more often than I….
giantrobot's picture

Best rice pudding ever.

Best rice pudding ever. Coney Restaurant in Paka Plaza Jackson, MI. At least it was when I was 10. All gone now however.
Criswell's picture

There's the Chinese buffet

There’s the Chinese buffet in the area where the High Wheeler used to be. It was swell when it first opened. We went there a lot. A lot. As the quality went down we still went there. Then I noticed: At least half the people there were huge. They had their own gravitational force, you had to be careful or else you were thrown into an elliptical orbit while on the way to the soft serve “ice cream” machine. The other half just looked generally unhealthy.

We would go nuts with the “ice cream” machine. Instead of using the little cups meant for the ice goo, we’d get the soup bowls, throw in cookies, brownies, that weird banana-in-red-strawberry syrup, and then ooze out a mountain of ice ooze. Then we’d sip our dainty cups of weak tea and dig in.

dingey's picture

oooh!

When living in Ann ARbor, I worked with a hilarious fellow who loved loved loved Chinese food.  A lot.  He ate it nearly every day.  One day he was late to work, and I asked him where he'd been and he admitted that he'd had to make an emergency trip to the doctor because he woke up with (and at this point he dropped his voice to a "cancer" whisper):  "BLACK TONGUE."  Yes!  Black tongue!  he freaked out!  The doctor told him it was MSG poisoning.  Beware, brother, beware.
OldFatMarriedGuy's picture

MSG poisoning ... mmm Savory!

MSG poisoning … mmm Savory!
timh's picture

Miss Info and I rode our

Miss Info and I rode our bikes to OCB for breakfast last summer. That was probably a first in the history of OCB (except for the cooks or dishwashers sans license).

OCB and other American food buffets can be pretty nasty. I do love the ethnic food buffets.

Angie's picture

China Q.

There was a little Chinese restaurant in the Otsego-Allegan 'taint called CHINA Q. They served ice cream and Chinese food, according to the signage. The building that housed it had been home to an ice-cream shack. Did they thus feel compelled to offer ice cream with their Chinese food, or is the dairy phenomenon a foreigner's interpretation of American desires?

Has anyone here ever eaten at the Hong Kong Restaurant near the same 'taint? I ate there once and thought it was good, but I was pretty pregnant at the time, so not only was it a lo-ong time ago, but also anything remotely edible in my path was snarfed down and declared great.

Herb Tarlick's picture

Paka Plaza?  I haven't

Paka Plaza?  I haven't heard that place (the remnants of which are now Jackson Crossing) mentioned in years!   That was a primary shopping destination for me as a child (pretty much the entire 1960s and into the '70s).  They had Woolworth's, Grant's, Nobil Shoes, and lots of other stuff I can't remember anymore.  They built the Sears in maybe like 1966.  In the mid '70s they enclosed the front (it was originally an open front 'shopping center' with a canopy over the sidewalk setting the stage for what is today a mall that goes to Target, Best Buy and I think still to Sears. 
Herb Tarlick's picture

oh yeah, buffets.  Went to

oh yeah, buffets.  Went to a good Mexican buffet in Lansing called Aldaco's, it is right by the Cedar St./I-96 interchange. They make tortillas on a griddle fresh.  Haven't been to the Acapulco buffet yet (Gull Rd.) but I bet it is good.  OCB sucks for dinner or lunch but I do have some inside info suggesting their breakfast buffet ROCKS
dingey's picture

hey man

speaking of mexican food, how was the El Azteca show?!?!?!?
Herb Tarlick's picture

That is this coming

That is this coming Saturday. 
Criswell's picture

Just got a remote starter

Just got a remote starter installed at ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Where House, so for lunch the guy there suggested the Applebees or … OCB. I walked all the way to the Crossroads food court for greasy pizza and Mountain Dew.
Mr. Jass's picture

danke

Arngie… I will henceforward refer to any turf nestled betwixt two li'l country towns as the TAINT.

Again, thank you.

Criswell's picture

redstarwraith's picture

Redneck Chinese cuisine?

There is nothing more fickle than Chinese cuisine. Most folks admit they like Chinese food, but after that initial statement, then the problems set in. The Chinese food I love is the Szechaun (South China) fare. I don't care for the Cantonese stuff too much (Moo Goo Gai Pan and Egg Foo Yung). When I was studying Mandarin at WMU, my Chinese language teacher (Wang laoshi) told us how funny he thought it was that Americans judge the quality of Chinese restaurants by whether or not any Chinese are eating there. He laughed and said China is not like America. Everywhere you go, the food is different: north from south, east from west, etc. Then he told a cute story about how when he first came here he got a job in the southwest somewhere. He ate at a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant one day and thought it was really good (remember, he hadn't really been exposed to American junk food yet…poor fellow). From that experience, he got the notion that the state of Kentucky must make the best fried chicken in the US. This was in the back of his mind a year or two later when he went to a language seminar in the south. When the seminar finished, he found that he was a mere 80 miles from the Kentucky border so he rented a car and drove to Kentucky in search of fried chicken. Once across the Kentucky state line he sees, lo and behold, a Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant. He told our class, "I thought I was a-so lucky that I found a KFC in Kentucky, that this was going to be really the best friend chicken I ever ate! I was a-so surprised that it tasted exactly the same as the KFC I'd eaten back home?!" This was all a way for him to explain to us that one cannot judge anything in the way of the quality of Chinese restaurants by whether or not Chinese people eat in them. It was also his way to ask us, "Does America HAVE any regional cuisine?" Sadly, all the undergrads in the class looked around at each other like, "Uhhh. . i dunno? Do we?" Only me and another "non-traditional" student (ie, another old bastard) jumped in and assured him that, yes, although we do, it is getting increasingly difficult to find when traveling about the US
wizzybit's picture

"Mexican" v. Mexican v. Tex Mex

I'm guessing the Mexican food story would be similar.

I get pickier and pickier, the older I get. And yet, also more tolerant. For example, I tried to make a turnip galette yesterday. Unsurprisingly, when fried in butter, turnips are awesome! But I certainly did not grow up eating turnips, I learned about them later. And probably, only because the vegetable box comes every other week with strange new vegetables. How will the OCB crowd ever eat a vegetable that's not frozen brocolli / cauliflower / carrot mix covered in "cheez"?

Then again, I only ate the turnips fried in butter…

Kapn's picture

Some of my earliest memories

Some of my earliest memories of shopping with the grandfolks (who lived in Albion but grew up in Jackson, where they preferred to shop) are of Paka Plaza. Been so long since those trips, I’ve confused “Paka” with “Parma”, so have been boring CG with false “my grandparents used to bring me here all the time” stories whenever we’ve driven past Parma! Thanks for the memory-jog. Does Aldaco’s kick El Azteco’s butt?

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