Leppotone

I don't know how you find blogs on here.  And how come we can't get no Tang round here?

I can only figger out how to add a blawg entry (under the "create" tab up top), but can't find how to look at other people's blawgs. Also, as far as I know, nothing has been posted about the Bell's bitchiness yet. Dadmin started writing it, then his computer, evidently remotely monitored by Larry's snarky minions, crashed or something, and all writing was lost. I haven't written anything yet, but when I told someone here about it in person, his response was basically, "Well, what else should they do? Why would you expect them to help a competitor?" Which was not exactly the point I was making or why I was so shocked and angry, but it did make me doubt my feelings of outrage, so maybe I'm wrong, although the other person who was with me when it happened was just as shocked as I was. So, maybe I'll write it up eventually.

Dadmin's quick screed in Friday's posts was a nice taster, as was your quick mention of the hassles in the post-LKO thread, Angie.

The little bit I've come to understand is that Bell's now has an "early door" policy, and won't let anyone in for a quick drink after a certain time without paying cover, whether or not you're staying.  Was this the source of the clash?  We want the written dish in your own inimitable styles!  Were staff their usual could-give-a-shit selves when they relayed the info?  Were they worse than the usual rude?  Has their upcoming million-dollar expansion put their heads farther up their asses?  Youth wants to know.

But I have to say this is faaar from something as reasonable as a door policy.

I went to Bell's with Angie on the Leppoke night.  She was concerned about the patch of ice by the door to the smoking section, which was both strategically placed and slippery.  We went looking for a handful of sidewalk salt.

We stopped by Water St. and they had not yet purchased any salt for their walkways.  It hadn't snowed yet and I believe it was the first night of the year for ice.  We decided to try Bell's.

Long story short, the guy working the hostess job smugly told Angie that Kraftbrau should get their own salt.  "Why would I help the competition?"  I seem to remember him going as far as to smugly list his reasoning, saying "A: They are our competitors.  B:, etc"  Just total jackassery. 

A: Kraftbrau was closing and there is no way he didn't know that.

B: It's two people coming in to ask for a HANDFUL of salt, not enough to melt a whole parking lot.

C: Smugness in a scenario like that just screams "asshole".

D: FUCK him.

Oddly enough, I had never been to Bell's in my life.  Angie may think her outrage was an overreaction, but I would completely disagree.  I don't see it any differently than asking the guy if I could use his phone to call a towtruck.  It's just another example of the douchenozzleness that seems to emit from that entire organization.

When's that new Kraftbrau opening up?

--your radio friend, Bat Guano

I went to Bells once hoping to meet up with friends in the beer garden.  I didn't see who I was looking for and have never had a reason to return.  I like the beer ok, but whateverz.

Leppotone needs a Lodge, or a Temple, some place we can all wear funny little hats and fake mustaches and ride in go carts and mini-bikes in parades.  That's all I'm saying.

I would agree that there is a certain attitude that emanates from some of the staff at Bell's but I can also say as a semi-regular there since the pub opened in 1993 that I have  (except for one little thing that most of you all know about) been treated generally OK there.  In the staff's defense they get way more than their share of idiot customers ('why don't you have Bud Light? 'why can't I smoke in here?', etc.) , I'm sure Mr. Jass could probably elucidate on that from his many years tending the bar there.

The bottom line is the Kraftbrau management should have cared enough about the potential liability of the ice to have dealt with it and not left it to customers.  They also should have fixed the hole in their front step that I nearly sprained my ankle on countless times but they didn't.  Should I castigate Bell's for not supplying a piece of brick and some mortar for Kraftbrau to fix their steps?    Maybe Bell's could also have not bogarted their beer recipes so Kraftbrau customers could have had something decent to drink. 

....ANYPLACE where you deal with the public involves dealing with a lot of dickish assholes.  True, it sucks, but they're not the only ones that have to deal with jerks, and they shouldn't take it out on customers who are NOT being jerks.  That's rule #1 of any customer service job.  If you can't handle it, it's really important that you find another line of work or suck it up and fake it. 

As somebody who's worked countless jobs involving dealing with the public, I make it a point to NOT be an asshole to the people behind the counter.  Unfortunately, I still have gotten the asshole treatment several times at Bell's.  Not consistently--it's a 50/50 thing.  I do think they're a little better than they used to be. Still, it's consistent enough that I only go there when it's a consensus with a group of people. It NEVER occurs to me to go there "just because," and that's due to the bad experiences that have been had there.

The garden's nice enough.  The beer's good.  But, eh.  Hostility and/or total indifference are not particularly good business practices.  Take note, Food Dance!

And Herb, I think the reason that you'e treated okay is because you've been a regular customer since they opened.  Apparently you weren't immediately repelled by the always-crappy customer service, as we were.  I remember going early on, and even then, there was a clubby air of indecipherable rules of who was and wasn't "in" enough to be there.  i recall going there with Dusty to give it a shot back in the Flipside days.  We actually GAVE UP after standing around at the not-terribly-busy bar for 20 minutes without being acknowledged by the bartender, despite having cash in hand and trying to get his attention without being dicky.  Kind of set the template and tone for our take on the place.  Apparently they don't need my money, so I'm not gonna give it to 'em.

They have shitty live music.  Fuggem.  If you're gonna have hippie jam bands, at least have good ones.  Screw this lame ass sub-Phish shit. Why not Akron Family?  Dungen?  HUH?

Oh, I'm not trying to stick up for Kraftbrau or anything; I'd agree that it was ultimately their responsibility.  I highly doubt anyone would have done anything had Angie not taken the inititive.  Point is, sixty-three cents worth of salt to help someone out wasn't gonna hurt anyone and to have to essentially be belittled for asking is unacceptable and a sign of pure fuckwadery.

They guy was RUDE. He was mean. He snapped at me as if he had been waiting for me -- actually me, Angie, personally -- to walk in that night so he could tear me a new one. I first of all offered to BUY some salt from them. I said I was a customer at Kraftbrau, had just noticed the aforementioned patch of ice, was concerned because I'd almost bit it already, they didn't have salt yet, and might you have a little bit of salt I could buy from you, just for that patch of ice? He didn't say anything as reasonable as "Why should I help the competition?" He said (while kind of sneering/smirking/raising his voice) "If they want salt, THEY can send someone to buy their OWN salt!" To which I couldn't respond because a) they sort of had sent someone (me), b) I just did offer to buy the salt, and c) I can't remember the last time, if ever, I had been spoken to so viciously, and I was frankly shocked into dumbfounded silence. I just couldn't believe a simple, polite question, which could have been answered with a simple but firm "No, sorry," elicited a downright mean response. I was a total stranger, a potential customer, a nice person asking nicely for a favor for which I'd pay, and he had every reason in the world to respond in kind. Why he felt the need to attack me I still can't fathom. He already knew I was not there as a K-brau employee or at their request, because I'd told him that I wasn't, so it wasn't like he thought he was attacking an employee (i.e., the competition). Also, if his reaction was so ordinary and acceptable and expected, then what do you call the reaction I got from the girl at Water Street? Was she a fucking infantile lunatic who was just stupid and naive enough to want to help? Oh, or is it becasue they sell coffee and not beer? It is OK to be a mean, snotty, me-first asshole because you sell beer? I was concerned about people getting hurt. It saddens me that no concession can be made in such a case, that one person's response to a situation (my being concerend about people getting hurt) is so vastly different from another person's response (person does not care to help people), because of fucking competition. Because of money, basically. Also, please note that the ever-popular and -upright Water Street didn't have any salt yet, either. So I guess their management should be castigated, as well, for their unpreparedness?

And Herb, if that had been your wife and you instead of me and Slimons, and that man had spoken to your wife exactly as he spoke to me, I can guarantee that he would be picking up his teeth or his ego off of the floor after you got through with him.

Sometimes motherfuckers are just motherfuckers, and if they're gonna be motherfuckers, then fuck those motherfuckers.

Karma, man. That's something those hippies should be taught as they spit in the brew.

--your radio friend, Bat Guano

Spitting in the beer is what Eccentric Day is for.....

That exchange was totally uncalled for, regardless of the free market's invisible hand - I'm sure the closest that guy's been to econ studies is making sure he divides the weed bag evenly amongst his friends who went in on the purchase.  Why are high-ons so uptight?  No reason for the rudeness other than someone getting a thrill about acting that way.  His karma will catch up with him.  As someone who's been a smug-ass in the past, I know.

Working in an institution whose main goal is to help anyone get what they need with whatever info is available to me, I have to remember that's not the way it goes for most retailers.  Plus (and some of the old record store gang can help me on this if my memory is faulty), I worked for a couple of shops where, if someone wanted something that minute, couldn't wait for a shipment or special order, we might actually call the competitor to see if they had something in?  A weird angle, but of the mindset that, hey, they see you giving that kind of customer service, they'll come back to you because you went that extra mile.

I find it interesting that some people seem to have the image of that man as some hippe-looking doofus, and I think I should clarify. He was, in fact, looking totally out of place there, as an employee, from my experience there. He looked very Midwest, 30 pounds overweight, wearing a red pullover sweater with a white shirt underneath, sensibly short conservative haircut, the wire-framed eyeglasses that most mainstream conservative Midwestern men choose. He wasn't a slacker high-on kid who didn't know any better or didn't care because he was righteously cool enough to be working there.

Aw, it was easier to bitch about an uptight hippie than an uptight working alcoholic.

The closest he's come to econ studies is slapping his family upside the head when he's asked why all the chips are gone - SMACK! - "I worked for my paycheck, I bought 'em, I can eat however much I WANT!".

Fucks like that are serial abusers who belong faaaaar away from the service industry - unless, of course, they work for a place that caters to people just like them.

i sent larry an email about 6 months ago

carlos was in town...kazoo....to play a party....he wanted a draft beer from bells...yum.....made a special trip down there...gathered a possee to go with him....and they were treated like shit.....SHIT!....i asked carlos if he dropped the "im from zingermans" bomb on them.....he did not...i chastised him and told him he should throw that weight around....especially at bells....zingermans is in bed with them......

so i wrote larry an email telling him of the pour/poor service ....heard nothing in response....

carlos has sworn to never return.....i dont blame him at all...all they wanted was some beer....of course carlos is domenican american....so now i think bells if full of hippie racists....

bells is lame.....the brew pub is even lamer.....of course i dont drink beer...so why should they care what i think?....

Fucking fat Midwest fucks don't know that fat Midwest non-hippie fucks, even when Republican, should be fucking polite like in "Fargo" and shit.

--your radio friend, Bat Guano

What that fucker said!  Yeah!

I have likely become inured to the Bell's eat-my-nuts attitude as I've been going there for ages. Plus, I worked for Larry when he didn't have a pot in which to piss so he shows me a certain amount of deference. But I've heard of far too many dick bag interactions for it just to be coincidence. It almost seems like policy.  A young lady in my office expressed interest in working there. She said she didn't really pursue it mainly because, in her words :"it seems kinda cliquey there". Still, he's got Kazoo by the cojones and shows nary a nit of respect for it. I've also heard stories about douchey "reverse split" nonsense that he's pulled on shareholders. In fact, I believe there is litigation pending on said issue. Gazette on Monday laid it out.

Sounds like Larry the bartender to me.  He is kind of a right-winger  (I think of the Ron Paul variety).  Certainly not everyone who works there is some kind of slacker hippie.  I'm sure if it was Larry he would rudely put out a personal responsibility vibe.   I'm not defending it but I think the 'hippie' stereotype is way overstated.   Except of course as it relates to the music.  I  never go there for the music (I basically refuse to pay a cover for something I hate), the music consistently sucks and the only good things musically that ever happened there were R. L. Burnside and KPOWW.  Geez, ever heard of Antibalas, or yeah, Dungen?  The opportunities there are limitless and have been squandered over and over again.  

The customer service model for Bell's is a lot like Ed Devebic's or something like that.  The staff don't bend over backward to accomodate people.  They never have and they probably never will. Maybe they figure the beer speaks for itself, I don't know.    I don't buy the racist/homophobic thing though.   I have been to Bell's hundreds of times.  I have seen people wait in line awhile for a beer (and waited in line for awhile myself sometimes), but I have NEVER seen someone not served because of their race or how they were dressed and I have seen black, white, gay, Latino, punk, working class to rich hang out there over the years and drink and hang out and whatever.        

It is hilarously ironic that the man who appeared to take great effort in removing anything related to Kalamazoo in his corporate identity (I read a piece in the NYT last year that mentioned  'Bell's Brewery in Galesburg, MI') because he was pissed about downtown festivals or DKI or something competing with him (and this is where the salt mentality comes from, BTW) is now marketing a "Kalamazoo' line of beers for the Illinois market.  Go figure. 

I don't have any real problem with Bells (except for Oberon...P fuckin U). What I don't get it is the attitude described above. Bells as a business is riding the gravy train currently but that gives no right to treat people like assholes. When the economy's going down the fuckin toilet and unique local businesess are closing regularly it makes absolutley no sense to alienate customers. I know one need to be one cold hearted SOB to get a leg up in the big bad free market but I don't think that the Beer Baron should tolerate one of his employees hawking Bells hockey jerseys and golf balls to be such a dick toward someone.

On top of that it seems that among local businesses in most places there's a spirit of cooperation based on the thought that "we're in it together" or at least "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine". So why should giving a little bit of salt be such a big deal.?

Also what's the Kalamazoo line of beers the Baron is marketing for Illinois? I thought he was blackballed by the Illinois' distributors guild for pulling out of Illinois.

by the way...the hippie racist thing was just baiting...i dont think that at all....i just think they give crap service....

As a ex-employee of Larry I can say he is an odd bird to figure out.  Mr. Jass is much tighter with him than I ever was.  When push came to shove I realized cleaning out kegs and bottles wasn't the best avenue for me. 

I have a soft spot for the brewry, I like the beer, there are some great people that have worked there and some great customers.  I do not like the music they book, so that kept me from there my last couple years in Michigan. 

The point I want to make about the brewry/Larry/Kzoo is that Bells is NOT a local business.  Yes it is there on Michigan Ave.  But the focus is not Kalamazoo, and neither is the profit margin.  As opposed to a brew pub, Larry needs to sell large quantities of beer regionally.  And that is his focus.  So helping out businesses near him would probably not even occur to him.  In terms of good business accumen, Larry really doesn't have it, why would he hire people with it?

if you recieve bad service and you talk about it...52 people will know....

word of mouth is the best advertising....

how many advertisements has zingermans paid for?.....zero.

The business as a whole may be national, but that particular pub on Michigan Avenue is indeed a local business. It is not a franchise. Bell's can sell all the fucking beer they can churn out, but that bar is just as much a local business as OP or Water Street is. And finally to get my feelings across more eloquently about this whole shitstorm, I'll depend, of course, on someone else.

You can't always be a saint. But don't be an asshole.



--your radio friend, Bat Guano

Here is the story on the stock split issue:   http://www.mlive.com/kalamazoo/stories/index.ssf?/base/news-26/1197091605183570.xml&coll=7

Here is the story on Bell's coming back to Illinois and the 'Kalamazoo' beer:

http://www.mlive.com/kalamazoo/stories/index.ssf?/base/news-26/1196486611217620.xml&coll=7

As for the pub and what fraction of the business it represents, I think LB himself told me back when I was in the MBA program that it was like 3-5% of total revenue.  The pub is almost a vanity thing, the real money is obviously in the distribution of the product throughout the Midwest and beyond.  According to this document, Bell's is the 35th largest brewer in the US as of 2005:

http://beertown.org/pr/top_50_2006.doc

And not only does LB not have any interest in say working with local businesses to develop an 'entertainment' district, there have been several stories in the Gazette over the years about his antagonism with DKI over the downtown festivals, basically to paraphrase the quote was 'I run a business that sells beer, why does the city (through the downtown festivals) have to be in competition with me?'   The downtown festivals help Bell's immensely, as does the presence of other establishments in the area that make for a livelier downtown in general.  I'm guessing that's some ego talking there.....