Community Novel

Submitted by OldFatMarriedGuy on Fri, 11/13/2009 - 3:15pm
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Andy gripped the wheel of his BMW M3 tightly with his left hand, reached out with his right and down shifted.  The car crouched like a tiger and rounded the hairpin corner of the mountain road with a ready reserve of torque, bending back out to the straightaway it was ready to pounce and so was Andy.  Sometimes you can’t tell a book by it’s cover, especially if that book is a person, but Andy Flatters was exactly the type of sleaze ball you would expect him to be, he knew it, he owned it.

It’d been twenty years since he’d been home to Colorado and the same reasons that made him leave were now drawing him back.  Andy ran the plan over again in his mind, Boulder was filled with a never-ending stream of shit-head dropouts.  A long standing romanticism surrounded the city, maybe it was the childhood memories of Mork & Mindy, maybe it was the mountains.  Whatever it was, Boulder was somehow thought of being “the” place to be.  Fact was, the local economy could only support a limited number of unskilled laborers, if you weren’t a Trustafarian, you were living on borrowed time before you ran out of money, sold your Cd’s and ran back home with your tail between your legs.

Considering the briefcase filled with blank record contracts in the backseat, Andy imagined how he could almost literally attach one to a fishing line and troll the streets hooking these idiots by their hopes and dreams.  It would take him a while to rebuild his empire, in the meanwhile a consignment resale shop would do.  Still he hadn’t been here since the incident, and of all places he could be going, he found it amusing he was headed to band practice. 
As he left the highway, Andy checked his speed and slowed down.  Widows pass was prone to rock slides and other hazards.  The locals knew to respect the road, but every couple of years some tourist who fancied himself a race car driver would find the quickest way to the bottom of the canyon.  Strange, he saw something ahead. 

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“Jack In The Box!”

Submitted by Tree on Wed, 11/18/2009 - 11:34am.
“Jack In The Box!” Andy’s stomach was still bitching about two Chorizo Sausage Burritos he’d had for breakfast, and he really wasn’t hungry, but oh how he’d missed Jack’s Sourdough Steak Melt. Until his heart attack, he’d eaten one nearly every day of his adult life, and although he didn’t miss the acne or the 50 pounds he’d lost since he’d headed east, away from “Jack Country,” he’d never forgotten the way the sourdough complimented the “steak,” (or whatever the hell it was. Dog? Rat? He couldn’t care less) or the feeling of home that he got from a Jumbo Jack and a vanilla shake. He thought about that time in New York when his then-girlfriend Lisa suggested that Sonic was “Exactly like Jack In The Box!” He remembered the nearly 2 hour drive to Howell, New Jersey, and her insipid comments and one-sided conversations about every sparkly object that caught her eye, and the terrible “Now That’s what I Call Music” CD that she insisted on listening to twice on the drive, both times skipping over the Radiohead and Everclear songs. He’d never regretted giving a gift as much as he regretted giving her that CD-to-cassette adapter.     The disappointment that Sonic delivered was so intense that he’d nearly forgotten about Barbie Girl and Zoot Suit Riot and all the rest, but when she called a week later, squealing with excitement as she reported her purchase of “Now That’s what I Call Music 2,” it all came flooding back in one big wave of nausea. He broke up with her over the phone, but agreed to keep his promise to pay for her breast implants.       The M3 purred softly as it rolled up to the clown.

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