Buy now, smell ya later!
Submitted by dingey on Sun, 07/15/2007 - 9:30pm.
Greetings once again from North Carolina. Driving to breakfast this morning, we passed the Maggie Valley Magic Shop, the marquee of which was boldly announcing “BIG DOG POOP SALE!” Why don’t i have a digital camera? We arrived yesterday afternoon approximately 15 minutes before my folks, who are here to help us wrangle some contractor quotes on work that needs doing and get straight talk from vacation rental representatives and figure out what can be done about the house down here. So far we have eaten a substantial amount of food, hacked tons of brush, taken a drive on the blue ridge parkway, washed curtains, and scrubbed several screens. This sounds drudge-y, I’m sure, but actually it’s nice to get some stuff DONE around here and feel like a dent is being made in an overwhelming project. My folks are crazy for projects and the perfect team to have down here with us to keep us flakes focused and motivated. Also, they are really quite funny. I’m too sleepy to think of an example at the moment, but perhaps someday i will find some of my mom’s letters and post them in RUBBLE DIGGING. Some of you may remember her missive that went with the photo of my fabulous hand-painted Gremlin and her fabulous antiquated sense of hilarious language usage. “here is a photo of your conveyance and, as an added bonus at no extra charge to you, an astonishingly accurate silhouette of your nearest male relative…..” Anyway. We have also unearthed yet another closet full of ancient family letters and photos down here. Seriously. Dusty’s family saved EVERYTHING and there’s stuff like photos dating back to the civil war of his great-grandfather as a toddler in a fabulous buttoned jacket looking very solemn indeed, as well as letters from relatives visiting the St. Louise World’s Fair, photos from his Great-grandfather’s trip to California in the late 1800’s (he was a photography buff, so there’s amazing civil war to victorian-era and on photos from this family). Well, kiddos, I feel like I’m being a bit bla bla bla, so i shall try to be more interesting later. Good day?
Big Dog Poop Sale
Submitted by Nathan on Mon, 07/16/2007 - 7:59am.World's Fair!
Submitted by wizzybit on Mon, 07/16/2007 - 8:55am.That’s funny, I was just thinking this morning as I photographed my breakfast that we should all take up a collection to get you a digital camera.
Also, finished the Devil in the White City book and I want to go to a World’s Fair this summer. When is the next one?
Post script to home break-in stories the other night - the first time my parent’s house was broken into, they got the lock box, which did include valuable items, but I’m most sad about losing the gigantic novelty penny that my grandfather got at the 1993 Chicago World’s Fair. Man, we loved that thing.
Per chance, any photos of
Submitted by nancy on Tue, 07/17/2007 - 11:37am.GIGANTIC PENNY STORY!
Submitted by Tree on Tue, 07/17/2007 - 1:06pm.When I was in elementary school I met neighborhood bully Danny C. Danny was 3 years older, and buddies with my friend David, so if I wanted to hang out with David, I had to put up with Danny. (This is not unlike my relationship with the other Sinatras…)
Anyway, I remember a few things about Danny, like the time I got off the bus and he was there waiting for me, and he unexpectedly punched me in the chest. Turned out, he’d been picking on my little brother, and my little brother said that I was "a Safety," and that I was gonna get Danny. I did not. Another time, Danny pretended to be dead, then tried to scare me as a taco-eating zombie. I did not believe he was dead, but I did believe that he was gonna hurt me so I ran. He told everyone that I believed he was a zombie and they all laughed at me. He was the first person I ever heard use the word *boner, but it was NOT the time that he locked me in my own bedroom, whipped out his weiner, and wasn’t gonna put it away unless I showed him mine. Luckilly my Mom called us and saved me from, well, whatever would have happened if I’d whipped my weiner out. Now that I think of it, maybe I should be mad at Mom…
Anyway, I did like his sisters, especially Donna. She was my babysitter for a while and she always kissed me goodnight. One time I was at their house playing pirates, and his sister was a queen. She was all dressed up in lacy pastel hankies and costume jewelry and I think I was starting to understand exactly what Danny had been talking about* when all of a sudden I was told to kneel and kiss the queen’s ring.
I freaked out and ran home, leaving behind my GIGANTIC PENNY (pirate treasure?) that my Gramma Ocie had purchased for me when we visited Abe Lincoln’s birthplace earlier that summer.
Danny denied all knowledge of my penny for a long time, but then he started hinting about it, and soon enough, when we were at David’s house, he showed me "his" gigantic penny. (Not a code for weiner)
I knew it was mine and I ran to tell David’s Dad, who refused to do anything about it. He was in the middle of a boat building project, and had started filling his garage with water. (another story) I also told my parents, but since I couldn’t prove that it was not just another big penny, I was out of luck.
I bugged me for years that a gift my Gramma had given with love ended up in his evil clutches, but you know what made things worse? It was when I found out that about 12 years after he stole my penny, MY WIFE DATED THAT GUY! God DAMN that makes me mad! This guy who I know for a FACT has no problem stealing from little kids and showing his weiner to people, took my future wife to see…get this…E-FUCKING-T! That’s right, ET, The Extra Terrestrial. I loved that movie when it came out, then Danny F’n Pennythief taints my memory YEARS before Spielberg digtally de-balls it by changing guns to flashlights or what the fuck. My wife never said so, but I just KNOW he tried that "weiner through the bottom of the popcorn box" trick.
Anyway, after hearing this story (more than once, probably) my brother picked up another gigantic penny at Greenfield Village and gave it to me for Christnmas a couple of years ago. I forgave him then for getting me punched in the chest.
I still see Donna occasionally, but I never got another chance to play pirates.
My stomach hurts from
Submitted by nancy on Tue, 07/17/2007 - 1:24pm.My stomach hurts from laughing!
But...
Submitted by Arthur on Tue, 07/17/2007 - 1:26pm.bully on ya
Submitted by Mr. Jass on Wed, 07/18/2007 - 11:05am.Beautiful meanderings, Tree.
Danny Penny reminds me of our neighborhood hooligan, Glen. He once stole my Dodge belt buckle and the magically "found" it under the bookshelf in my room. He also cleaved my forehead by hurling a giant crick-stone at me while I was in the treehouse——5 stitches. He got his comeuppance later when my dad ran over him with the tractor and trailer. He lived.
My wife never dated him, though. She did date someone who liked NASCAR.
vacation all i ever wanted.....
Submitted by dingey on Thu, 07/19/2007 - 10:03pm.oh buddies
Submitted by dingey on Fri, 07/20/2007 - 9:51pm.north carolina aw, no...
Submitted by dingey on Fri, 07/20/2007 - 9:53pm.too too much
Submitted by dingey on Sat, 07/21/2007 - 12:34pm.OH....
Submitted by cinnamon girl on Fri, 07/27/2007 - 10:30am.it's really good!
Submitted by dingey on Fri, 07/27/2007 - 10:53am.I can vouch for it too! Really interesting stuff. Quite an insightful review, huh?
Yes, and it's now available from the Leppo Lending Liberry.
Submitted by wizzybit on Fri, 07/27/2007 - 11:35am.I totally loved it. It had everything - meticulously researched, yet entertaining at the same time. My favorite person, Frederick Law Olmstead, was a "character! If you want to borrow it, I’d be happy to drop it off.
YES YES AND YES
Submitted by cinnamon girl on Fri, 07/27/2007 - 11:48am.i like things that are delishous
Submitted by funyuns on Fri, 07/27/2007 - 11:57am.wait
Submitted by funyuns on Fri, 07/27/2007 - 11:58am.Post new comment